Carte Blanche (Camille Anthony in Charming the Snake) – Chapter Five

The next day, Chassy recaps the events of the night for Alicia. Apparently, Dare had refused Chassy’s offer of a carte blanche and that was what she was so huffed about. Alicia asks what she’s planning next.

“Make him change his mind, of course. [Because that’s so easy…] I don’t want to be a virgin anymore, but since I met him, I don’t want anyone else to be my first. It has to be him.” [And you’ll only get him to sleep with you by offering him a carte blanche? Girl, change your tactic, because apparently that one didn’t work.]
“You’re in love with him.”
She stiffened in her seat. “I am not! I’m in lust with him, yes, but not the other ‘L’ word.” [Boys, ewww!!! Cooties!!! Love, bah, I can’t even say the word, that’s how mature I am!]

Chassy abruptly changes the topic and tells Alicia to get ready, because she wants to go shopping. Alicia insists that if she goes, she gets to drive the flitter, but Chassy isn’t happy with that because Ali’s driving style is reckless.

Anyway, after a bit of bickering about that, which is oh-so-interesting, Chassy tells Ali again to get a move on, or else she will miss Chassy looking for Dare and the following action.

While Ali gets ready, Chassy thinks about Dare.

Her mind shied away from the memory of how badly it had hurt when he’d turned her offer down.
Pain had flashed throughout her system [throughout? wouldn’t through be enough? Either way, it doesn’t get rid of the cliché that is this phrase. Or the one before that.], burning along her nerves like carbolic-acidetched steel. The scary part had been realizing her pain had very little to do with still being horny as acelebeast in heat, and more to do with fearing he was walking out of her life before he’d walked into it. [Holy shit… do you have one original phrase in your head?]


Dare and CC enter Dare’s apartment. And now, things get really good, my dear bitchlings. Dare has to shake off a whole flock of angel-serpents [as in “oh, my guardian angel-serpents“], who try to groom him…
So, angel-serpents actually exist. Not only that, but – as the conversation between Dare and CC lets us know – they have some kind of supernatural power and recognise those of a pure heart. And then they try to groom the pure-hearted people. And they’re all over Dare, more so than over any other person.

Which tells us, with actual, living proof that Dare isn’t really a bad guy, only a misunderstood good one. Thank goodness the guardian angel-serpents! It would be perfectly dreadful if Dare just was a little bit dirty…

Well. Dare is annoyed, but can’t do anything against it because the angel-serpents are also incredibly dangerous and lethal.

Dare snorted, amusement lighting his countenance. “I wasn’t feeling very pure in heart last night, I’ll tell you. After being propositioned by the woman I planned to make my wife, being pure was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to fuck her to within an inch of her life and then beat that last inch out of her.” [Uhm… was this just a threat to kill her? Or was it dirty talk? I’m not really sure. Not really a good thing, when you think about it. “Oh, the guy of my dreams! Now, if I only knew whether he means to give me the best sex of my life or to kill me…”]

CC asks what happened the night before, because, when he saw Chassy return to the party, her eyes “were lifeless. Dead. She looked traumatized.” [Oh, cut the melodramatic crap, will you? You don’t get traumatised because a boy says no to your advances. And if you do, then it’s really necessary for you to have some trauma in your life…]

Dare explodes. He’s all outraged that Chassy dared to propose him the Carte Blanche scenario, when all he wanted was to marry her. To be honest, on the one hand I understand his outrage. It’s not the nicest way to start a partnership when you’re trying to pay the other person. On the other hand, the way he behaved before he met Chassy, spent 15 minutes with her and changed his life 180° – what else could she do than to assume he wouldn’t want to marry her and that he’d prefer to be a gigolo?

Well, CC is amused. He laughs and probably rolls on some floors and laughs some more. Which is the empathic thing you want to hear from your best friend after you just told him how the woman of your dreams abused you.

No longer able to sit still or talk calmly without moving, [to sit still without moving… that’s… uh… huh?] Dare began to pace off the confines of the studio. “She took one look at me and saw straight to my soul. She knew I was innocent. Do you know what that meant to me? How it cleansed me?”

Well, you know what? CC believed in you the whole time, which should have cleansed you already. Instead, what cleans you is some kind of floosie you’ve known for about five minutes.

Dare turned and looked at the only one who had expressed faith in him during the last eight years. His face relaxed and his lips quirked in a soft smile. “You saved my life, you know. I was at the lowest point when you came to me — ready to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.”
Chezann nodded at him as he arose and went to the bar. He poured them both another drink. “I kinda thought that might be the case when I approached you. I wasn’t sure you’d allow me to help you.”
Dare sighed and thankfully accepted the tumbler of golden liquor. “You offered me something inestimable that night. Your trust gave me back the love of a brother.”
“I have never felt cheated. Over the years, you’ve returned whatever I gave a hundredfold.”

Holy fucking shit. Which person with a Y-Chromosome talks like that? Did you ever listen to two guys talking before you wrote that? I tell you what would have happened with the most sensitive guys:

A: Thanks, you know…
B: Sure, sure…
[Weird hug.]
A: Want a beer?

Bad stereotype on my side? Maybe. But show me two guys whose conversation would be closer to Ms Anthony’s version than to mine.

Well, finally they get to the good stuff: the terms Chassy offered for the Carte Blanche.

“For being ready to service her whenever she feels the need, I will have a fashionable townhouse fully furnished and staffed; a monthly allowance of three thousand pounds; and in addition, she will pay off all my outstanding debts. Oh, I forgot to mention she is a virgin,” he snarled. “If I initiate her without pain, the monthly stipend doubles.” [Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad…]

Well, Dare is outraged, CC now too and he asks Dare about his plans.

“I believe I shall accept Chastity’s offer. In the meantime, I’ll teach the forward little baggage the difference between being a wife and a mistress. Only after she admits the error of her ways will I marry her!”

GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s The Taming of the Shrew, the most misogynistic story of all times [Probably]. Marketed to women. As a women’s story. I think I will have to hit something. Hard.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: