Carte Blanche (Camille Anthony in Charming the Snake) – Chapter Three

They walk into the garden until they can’t hear the sounds of the party anymore, only the crickets. [They couldn’t save all of humanity, but they could save the crickets? WHY, for Pete’s sake, why? Was it Noah’s ark? Didn’t they worry at all about the natural equilibrium of the new planet?]

She sank down onto a cool stone bench and spread her skirts, demurely covering her slippers. [It is very important that she cover her slippers, especially in the light of what’s coming next.]

Dare tries to make some conversation, but Chassy interrupts him by saying “You know you don’t want to talk. You want to get in my pants, so let’s get to it!” [paraphrased].

Dare is not the person not to take up the offer, so he starts licking, kissing and probably nibbling her neck.

She flung her head back, arching her breasts into the solid expanse of his chest, offering up the banquet of her body. [Holy fuck. Does he kiss her or eat her?] He eagerly accepted her invitation, heart beating out of sync as he skimmed the tops of her breasts. [But I bet her slippers are still covered.]

He takes off her gloves to be able to fell her better (I wonder why… I mean, he’s kissing her neck and her breasts and it’s not like her gloves cover those parts, is it?). Then they start fingercombing each other’s hair.

“I have felt your phantom lips on mine forever, but you always left me wanting. Let my [I’m guessing that’s a typo. But who knows?] feel you now. Kiss me… kiss me…” she urged, using her hold to tug his head down to hers.
With a groan of excitement, Dare resisted her, determined to make her wait, make her as hungry as he. Stealing little nips and sips of her flesh, [Holy shit, he is eating her!] he nibbled his way up the column of her throat, his hands busy at the bodice of her gown. Triumph swelled through him when his hands at last touched warm, pliant flesh, [Didn’t you just take off her gloves to feel her flesh?] and his fingers opened and closed over the full mounds of her breasts, plumping them [What? I mean, if you’re pumping them, do you expect milk? And if you are actually plumping them, what the hell’s that supposed to mean?], rubbing his thumbs over the rising crests. [I’m confused. Which part of the breasts are the rising crests now?]

Well, Chassy grabs his “steely length”, which doesn’t make any sense. I mean, his dick might be steely, which would worry me, and it might be long, but a length can’t really be steely, can it?

Dare melded their mouths in a fiery kiss, his tongue speaking within the sweet, dark cavity of her mouth. It was an ancient language promising dark delights and endless ecstasies. [*headdesk*]
Beneath his studied assault [What? (Imagine bewilderment here)], Chastity mewled [You’ve got to be kidding me!] and moaned and melted [apparently literally, see –>], drenching the fingers [Which fingers? Where did they come from? Is it Thing?] that had forged their way up the smooth flesh of her thigh to pry open [OW! OW! OW! If you have to pry it open, you’re doing something wrong!] the pouty lips of her sex. [Even her labia is pouty?]
He found her wet and creamy. [Creamy? Are you kidding?] “Oh, gods!” he groaned. “You are so responsive!” [YAY!] His praise was muffled against her swollen lips. [Which ones?] He swirled [swirled???] a finger high up inside her tight passage. “So drenched and juicy… I want a taste, need to see if you are as sweet as you smell. Will you let me?” [Aren’t you already doing it?] he asked, introducing another long finger into her honeyed [JESUS H. CHRIST!] depths and stirring, stirring. [Finger-fucking: UR DOIN IT WRONG!]

Oh my goodness, I could copy the whole scene, it’s hilarious. Next, Chassy warns him that she will explode because “a tumultous storm is battering [her] from the inside out”. Storm’s are usually pretty non-explosive, right?

Before she actually does come, though, Dare takes off his coat and goes to his knees and starts to lick her pussy “womanhood”. [Because all that makes a woman is her pussy.] No, wait, not just yet! First:

Brazen and bold, he opened her, [with a can opener, I bet] his thumbs pressing the feminine lips apart. [Are her other lips not feminine?] Leaning close, he took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet, musky aroma of her feminine scent. [Even her scent is feminine, but her mouth isn’t?] “Mhmm, you smell divine — creamy and hot and mouthwatering. I can’t wait any longer. I have to have a taste…” [Do it already, you’ve only been talking about it for the last two pages or so.] 

Finally, he gets to it and Chassy bucks and “undulates”. Dare “thrust[s] his tongue deep into her churning passage”. [I don’t think this woman knows half of the words she’s using… Thesaurus Gone Wild?]

A groan welled up in Chassy’s throat, the sound rising like pleasurable agony. [Those two words don’t go very well together.] The vibration of her extremity rumbled in his chest, [What the fuck??? Vibration of what? And why does her vibration rumble in his chest?] and he attempted to devour her [not again!], to drown her in sensation. He tongued and bit and drew and nibbled until she writhed beneath him, whimpering as she fell into a grinding completion. [grinding completion? I don’t get it. I mean, I know, it’s supposed to be an orgasm, but grinding completion? Where did that metaphor come from?]´

Then Chassy has “explosions under her skin” which Dare actually feels. When she’s done orgasming, he kisses her, stopping her screaming [why is she still screaming, when her orgasm’s over?].

His earlier need to fuck had transmuted into a need to be within this one woman. [To be within her? Isn’t that fucking? And if not, what the hell do you mean?] His body wanted no other. He greatly feared she’d just ruined him for any other woman.

I know this is supposed to be romantic, but they’ve known each other for about 20 minutes now. This relationship is moving way too fast to be healthy. Ok, Chassy dreamed about him her whole life, but for crying out loud! I dream about Christian Bale, doesn’t mean I actually know him. And Dare didn’t dream about her or anything, but he’s “ruined (…) for any other woman”? Not good.


Chassy collects herself and offers Dare a blowjob. Which he declines for fear of getting caught by a chaperone. [Oh my goodness, your name’s Dare… But, ok, her name’s Chastity, so I guess names don’t account for much here.]

He helps Chassy to her feet and catches her, when her knees buckle. Orgasms should probably come with a warning sign: “Orgasms may cause leg impotence.” While she’s clinging to him, she makes us of the time and squeezes his dick.

Groaning, Dare took her rounded derriere [is there one derriere that’s not rounded? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one…] in both hands and pressed her into his jutting hardness [*rofl* say dick, woman, say dick…], trapping her hand between them. He took her mouth in a desperate kiss that swept them both into a dark, climactic paradise. [His kiss probably creates a vortex.] He felt her shiver, felt her melting, reforming around his jutting hard-on. [Wow, how do you do that trick? Melt, reform, … maybe like The Terminator?] He felt her in his soul. “I want you… need you…”

They agree that they should meet again – Chassy should come to his room. In the middle of their discussion, Dare realises that, miraculously, Chassy has completely changed his mind about marriage. Because it wouldn’t do if he just loved her, for the ending of this story, he has to want to marry her.

Chassy asks him about the story with his brother’s fiancée. Dare starts to explain, but she interrupts him, telling him that she believes that it’s not his fault and that she wants to make things easier for him, financially.

Taking a deep breath, she clasped her hands in front of her. “The solution to your dilemma is simple. All you have to do is accept my offer of carte blanche.”

So, now she’s paying him. Yeah, must be love.


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