Savage Scavenge (MaryJanice Davidson in Charming the Snake) – Prologue

Before we head into the story, let me state this:

Your story isn’t even 40 pages long and you have a prologue and 11 chapters? Overkill much?

And Savage Scavenge is a bad pun. If you can even call it a pun…

Oh well, here we go.

First, we get the information:

Summer 2072
Minneapolis, Minnesota
A-Block
Midnight

Unfortunately, nobody knows what the A-Block is and no one bothers to explain. [And just because she’s written another story in this world, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have to explain anything anymore.] But okay, I can handle being left in the dark for a while.

Jamie Day, blushing bride-to-be, [Why is she blushing? Is it because she’s a bride to be?] stretched, scratched, and yawned.
“Grace, thy name is Jamie,” her fiancé observed.
“Off my case, metal man. [As this is a SciFi story, is he a robot? And has the civil rights movement extended to include the robot’s right to marriage? And what did the conservatives say to that? Or is a utopian story and there’s no conservatives left?] It’s not my fault you’ve worn me out again.” [Okay, I guess that’s why she’s blushing. Maybe.]

MItchell, the fiancé tells her that his PR people were “up here again”, which makes me wonder, where they are. As I don’t get an answer, you won’t get one either, so let’s just proceed. Mitchell is “Mr. Big Dick Zillionaire” (probably an official title) and wants to make their engagement public. Jamie would like to keep it low-profile.

“I’m just saying, why make a big thing of it? Why tell anybody, never mind your PR people?”
“Because I want the world to know you’re mine,” he said simply. [She’s not. She’s hers. Or probably MaryJanice Davidson’s.]
“Dammit! See, there you go. You say something like that and I just melt. How can I argue with that?” she griped. “Easy: I can’t.” [Well, then let me do it for you: “A wedding should be how and what both parties want and not what your PR people suggest it should be. And anyway, you possessive fucker, I won’t be yours, ever. Marriage or not.]

Mitch is of course satisfied, because Jamie gives in and asks her if she wants to invite anybody, additionally to the five thousand people he’s inviting. [No, I’m not exaggerating, he tells her that the ballroom accomodates five thousand but that they could go to a bigger venue.] Jamie tells him that there’s no one. Mitch is astonished, because even though she’s an orphan she must have some friends. [If you know her and her surroundings that well, you probably shouldn’t marry her.]

“That’s ridiculous. Anyone as charming and, uh, gifted [uh, gifted? Is she gifted or not?] as you must have loads of friends.”
“You’re the only one who thinks I’m charming. And thieves aren’t well-liked in C-Block. It’s hard enough getting stuff without worrying about somebody snatching it out from under you. We all pretty much kept to ourselves.” [So, is she saying that she was a thief and therefore nobody likes her? Or that everybody else is a thief? Or that a friend is automatically a thief?]

But because Mitch always gets his way, she can think of one person she could invite. But she wouldn’t come anyway, so that point’s a bit moot.

“Is she gifted like you?”
“It’s okay, Mitch, you can say it: mute. [Since when is being mute a gift? I wouldn’t say that not being able to speak is a gift. Just as I wouldn’t say that my not being able to sing is a gift. And if she’s not able to speak, how could she have this conversation? This really doesn’t make any sense.] No, she’s not. But she’s one of those people on the fringe… if a mute got hurt, you could go to her and she’d fix you up, and she wouldn’t tell the government about you. [What? Are mutes somehow illegal in this society?] There’s a whole bunch of underground doctors and clinics. She’s the best one. But I wouldn’t say she’s a friend, exactly. Like I said, more an ally than a pal.”

Anyway, this friend never leaves the B-Block (I wonder, is there a D-Block? A Y-Block?), so what’s the point?

They conclude the matter, with Jamie being totally honest with herself, which is something you have to admire.

“Well,” she pointed out, “now I’m one of those annoying women whose entire life revolves around her boyfriend.” [And I’m not at all proud about that…]

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