Remember, Remember

Do you remember this monstrosity? NOW THERE’S THE UNOFFICIAL MOVIE VERSION!

All writers who tend to write much too purple prose should be forced to watch videos like this of their own metaphors…

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PS: I hope to post the next chapter tomorrow. But it might take me longer.

In Too Deep (Tori Carrington) – Chapter Two

So far, Alannah has come back and Ben told her that they needed to talk.

On the way to Ben, Alannah had already feared that this would be the time that he’d say no.

She had seen it in his eyes the last time she’d left. [It always amazes me what people see in the eyes of other people. Maybe I'm just really a sucker when it comes to facial expressions, let alone ocal expressions, but what I see in other people's faces are emotions and not something like, "you know, this has been fun for a while, but really, it can't go on like this."] That expression that said more than words could, but if the words could be spoken, they would have ended their long-standing spring fling forever. [bzzz-huh? I take it that he just broke up with you through his eyes and yet you still come back?] For the past 11 months she’d worried that he might find the woman who could give him what he wanted, what he needed. That elusive something that she could not provide: permanence, marriage, family. [Oh, very elusive: Didn't you just nail it in three words?]

So, to avoid being rejected right away, because she really, really likes Ben and wants to know that he likes her, too, Alannah has waited till nightfall, undressed, crawled into Ben’s bed and hoped that his dick would do his thinking for him. [By the way, I find this a deeply disconcerting practice. I mean, okay, they've apparently established that it's okay in their relationship to do that, still... for me, this is not necessarily the best way to go about things. Especially if you think that you'd get kicked out otherwise.]

In Too Deep (Tori Carrington) – Chapter One

***Trigger Warning***

Okay, let’s start right away with the magnificence that is the first sentence:

She was back. Hot, fleecy-soft, and magnificently naked in his bed.

When somebody’s fleecy, I immediately imagine a pelt. A very nice, very soft pelt, but a pelt nevertheless. I guess I have to compliment Tori for not resorting to the classic, a little clichéd “silky”.

But then again, who am I to say that she, whoever she is, doesn’t have a pelt?

In Too Deep (Tori Carrington)

In Too Deep is #24 in Harlequin’s Mini Series. It’s available here. You can also read it here, but I don’t know how legal that is.

The Description on Amazon

The book is rather short, as is the description:

Alannah has returned to Ben’s bed, just in time for spring. Can he convince her to stay for good this time, or will she break his heart again?

Just a small sidenote

I read the first sentence of this little gem and decided that I had to post it here. Seriously, people…

She was back. Hot, fleecy-soft, and magnificently naked in his bed.

Also, I’m reading this in pdf format and it has like 21 pages. And 8 chapters… Something this long probably doesn’t need any chapters at all, let alone 8…

Plus, everytime I read the name Alannah, I have to think about this one song… do you know it?

I’ve no idea what it means, but it’s a little disconcerting.

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Conclusion

***Trigger Warning***

So, we got the steamboat captain millionaire and his poor, unfairly disregarded mistress and their babies. Yay!

I have to admit that this book wasn’t badly written. Well, there were the occasional flowery phrases that made me want to wash my eyes, but seriously, if I go back to what we’ve been through here, this book’s writing style was bloody brilliant.

But to counterbalance this, we have an absolutely ridiculous plot, characters I wanted to kick all the time, an alpha-hero, who unfortunately fails to be impressively alpha and instead is threatingly alpha most of the time, a heroine who says she’s independent but always does as she’s told and secondary characters who get dropped faster than a hot potato when they don’t advance the plot anymore.

Open Questions

[In this case, there aren't many open questions because there were never many questions raised in the first place.]

What happened to the Currans? And Teresa? And what does Maxie say to the whole happily ever after thingy after hating Nick for so long? Couldn’t there have been one teeny-tiny epilogue for that?
This is the first book here that I read and I really wanted to know what would happen in another year. Because I’m pretty sure that Nick will have beaten Jenna to death because she looked at another guy (or some other flimsy reason) by that time. Honestly, I’m scared. For a fictional character.

Eternal Truths Learned

Experiencing relationship trouble? Just buy a house together and they will disappear! A house together will instantly resolve any commitment and trust issues you might have.
Sexual Assault is fun, if you are a guy being assaulted by a woman.
If you’re boyfriend gets assaulted, be mad at him.

As usual, you’re very welcome to add to this list in the comment section.

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Chapter Ten

3 days later, Nick is still at Jenna’s house and Jenna has to explain herself to her sister Maxie, who, understandably, calls her nuts.

“Are you sleeping with him?”
Disappointment and need tangled up together in the center of Jenna’s chest. No, she wasn’t sleeping with him, but she was dreaming of him every night, experiencing erotic mental imagery like she’d never known before. She was waking up every morning with her body aching and her soul empty. [I wonder what an empty soul feels like... I mean, I can imagine that - if you believe in souls - you'd feel quite empty if you felt like you didn't have one. But an empty soul... Is a soul some kind of jar?]

Anyways, Maxie preaches for a bit and Jenna tries to calm her as far as that’s humanly possible. And then Maxie asks Jenna whether she’s sure that Nick doesn’t want to stay for long.

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Chapter Nine

Oh yes, so Nick just announced his decision to be Solomon. When Jenna gets all outraged, Nick just smiles and tells her to relax.

“I said that’s the plan I did have. Things have changed.” [What an asshole! ASSHOLE! I'll say it again and again and again. First shocking the hell out of her and then belittling her for getting outraged???]

Nick has seen her and the boys together and knew he couldn’t split them up (at least not without risking his life). Jenna relaxes a little bit but then Nick tells her that he won’t be going anywhere, inviting himself into Jenna’s home just like that. And as I know her, she’s going to say yes.

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Chapter Eight

[Trigger Warning]*

*I’ve decided to include this Trigger Warning whenever there’s some reference to rape or other forms of sexual violence. Depressing as it is, this happens way too often in (romance) novels.

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Before Jenna can say to or do anything about the evil redhead sitting naked in Nick’s bed, the redhead acts really embarassed and tries to get the hell out. Then Nick turns up and reacts really angrily, which again makes Jenna angry, because Nick’s only angry and not surprised.

Gah! What a fuck-up! First of all, the redhead is sexually harassing Nick (though I’m pretty sure that that’s not her intention) [but who gets up in the morning and thinks, "ah, today, I'll totally harass my cute steamboat captain..."]. And then, Jenna does some victim blaming because it’s apparently completely Nick’s fault if naked women break into his suite and lie on his bed – if he’d behave differently that so wouldn’t happen (just like when women wear short skirts. If they wouldn’t, they’d never get raped!).

Then Jenna storms out and decides to pack and kick her own ass for kinda falling in love with Nick, when he’s so obviously an asshole for getting sexually assaulted.

Let’s headdesk for a bit, okay?

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Chapter Seven

The next morning, Jenna wakes up alone after fucking the night through and, hurting all over, makes her way to the shower. She tries to figure out what she should do next and what would happen next and what Nick’s plans are. [I have a simple solution: Wait. Figure out what you want. Talk with Nick about it. See what he wants. Make a decision concerning the both of you together.]

She decides that she should call her sister Maxie who’s looking after the twins. When Maxie basically says that the twins are quite exhausting for her, Jenna…

…jolted away from the headboard, frowning at the phone in her hand. “Are they okay?” [Overprotective much?]

Which leaves me wondering: how do you frown at the phone in your hand stay on the phone at the same time? I mean, it’s pretty hard to frown at something that’s pressed against your ear – at least to me frowning at something indicates that I’m also looking at said something. And if she’s on speakerphone, which would be the most logical explanation, why does she have the phone in her hand? I mean, you get the speakers so you have your hands free, right?

Baby Bonanza (Maureen Child) – Chapter Six

It’s three days later, and the ship’s docking in Acapulco. Mary Curran tries to convince Jenna to go shopping with her but Jenna declines, thinking about the last days she spent with Nick:

They’d spent nearly every minute together, and when they were here in this suite, the spacious accommodations seemed to shrink to the size of a closet. [Seems to me like she could have stayed in her (very small) cabin and only be in half the trouble she's in now. And have more room.]

Then her thoughts wander to the dinner the Currans, Nick and her had the night before.